Fat Girl Running...Again

It's Groundhogs Day in April

2010-04-07T08:33:00.000-07:00

After reading my last post I thought it must be Ground Hogs Day, minus the sexy Bill Murray. How many times have I started gotten distracted and then something started again. Well, today is my (or your) lucky day. It's the magical day one. So as someone(me) wise once said, "Start small today and tomorrow you'll have surpassed the impossible! Today speed walking a marathon seems impossible, but on Sept 18th after the Top of Utah Marathon the impossible will be a memory.

Choose what's impossible for you and tell yourself to do it.
Don't wait for someone or something to motivate you.
Don't wait for the perfect time.

Time isn't fair or perfect, its fleeting.

Lastly,

Invictus
Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the Pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds, and shall find, me unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll.
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.

William Ernest Henley

Here I Go Again

2009-12-28T11:00:00.000-08:00

Ok, you've probably noticed I haven't posted anything since last Feb. My husband came home from a year long deployment and for some unknown reason I stopped working out and eating right. There is something to be said for having a spouse in another country to motivate you to look great when they come home. Sadly, Chris brings out the worst in me when it comes to eating. I never eat much when he isn't around, but late night movies and Pei Wei are a common occurrence when he is home. For those of you who haven't seen Chris he is 175lbs and can and does eat anything and everything. His goal weight is 180, which he has tried his best to reach since we got married. My goal has always been to weigh less than him. It wasn't easy when he weighed 130 on our wedding day and is still my goal even though he weighs 175.

Like everyone else in Jan I'm beginning again to loose that pesky, "baby weight" that has plagued me for the past 16 years. This time however I hope having running goals will give me something to look forward to and challenge me into being consistent. At least that is what I'm telling myself. Wish me luck. Also, for anyone who wants to join me I'm starting the couch to 5k program today and eventually by this time next year I hope to have at least one 5k, 10k, Half Marathon & two full Marathons completed. After all whats the point in making small goals ;)

Long Time No Post

2009-02-09T10:09:00.000-08:00

I wonder if anyone is still following my blog because it has been two months since my last post. I'm finally 7 lbs away from being under 200 which is amazing, but my weight loss has been so slow I don't know if I can wait till this time next year to be at my goal weight. I'm frustrated because have also been working out a lot eating pretty well and only have three weeks till my husband comes home from his deployment. My goal was to weigh less than him when he came home, but since that isn't going to happen now I just want to be under 200. At this point I have to keep my nose to the grindstone and not fall back into unhealthy weigh loss traps. For example I have been kicking around the idea of going back on the pre-op liquid diet for the next three weeks. Why is it I can't be satisfied with my progress and be proud of where I am. The good news is I have never gained back any weight. I'm luckily a person who doesn't gain weight back, but I have a terrible time getting rid of it.

Because of my uncertainty I would like to know what you think.

1. Should I do the liquid diet for the next three weeks to make my goal of being under 200lbs?

2. Should I keep exercising and not weigh myself until after Chris comes home?

On a positive note I'm now running for 50 min at a time on the treadmill.

A Tricky Difference

2008-11-20T11:53:00.000-08:00

Well, I have made an interesting discovery in the past few weeks. There is a difference between wanting to eat and being hungry. Yes I know all most of you are thinking, "duh," but I think I'm just beginning to really get it. For example last night I ate dinner then went down in my room to watch tv and it wasn't long before I thought to myself there were Christmas candies upstairs. So I grabbed a handful and ate them. As I was eating them I was uncomfortable even though they were small, I was so overly full. At that moment I thought I didn't really want those candies I just wanted to eat. Have you ever been really full but wanted to keep eating just to chew?

So there you go my amazing discovery. From now on I'm going to really think about when and why I'm eating. Oh and for those of you that have a band how have you gotten over the desire or drive to eat alot of food in one sitting and not just be satisfied with a small amount. It is such a strange feeling to think you want to finish something even though your full.

Depression and Eating

2008-11-03T12:31:00.000-08:00

I have been in a major funk for the past two days and have not been eating like I should. Today I have had 3 oz of chicken and two small banana chocolate chip muffins. I also have no appetite. I don't like being depressed. That's the funny thing about Chris, when he is here I emotionally eat with him. For example, "Sure honey I'll have some of your fries." Or, "Chris will you go out and get us some fries"? When he's gone I don't eat at all. I need to go play racket ball so I can hit something.

That's it I just thought I would share.

Deployments Are Funny Things

2008-10-27T09:57:00.000-07:00

I have been stuck at the same weight for almost a month since the 27th of Sept. I was doing everything to loose as much weight as I could before Chris came home for leave from Afghanistan. Nothing worked. Well, he has been here 6 days and I have lost 5 lbs! There is something to be said for feeling relaxed comfortable and in love. Chris takes care of me, he fills my emotional bucket and helps me feel like the most important person on earth. I'm so grateful for this time we have together and the extra weight loss is the cherry on the top.

You'll Love Spark People

2008-10-08T12:39:00.000-07:00

I thought I'd share my favorite website. Its called Spark Prople and it is an all encompasing weightloss and lifestyle site. Now only do they really help you break down what your eating but they track your exercise and suggest nutrition plans and exercises. It's like havifn a free nutritionist and trainer at your finger tips. I'm a very very analitical personality..as some of you already know all to well. I really like seeing in black and while exactly where I am and the changes I need to make. Try is out I know you won't be disapointed. Just make sure you brouse around into all the areas to get the full picture.

Register to Vote!!

2008-10-07T12:22:00.000-07:00

I wanted to make sure I, " lovingly encouraged," all of you to register and vote. Here is a link to find out how you register. Please Please do this and show your families how important your freedom is.

http://elections.utah.gov/Voterregistrationinformation.html

Math Formula For My Life

2008-10-03T21:40:00.000-07:00

Ok, here is the formula I use to figure out my calorie deficit to loose weight.

2600 (my metabolic rate or how many cal's I burn laying flat doing nothing)

-1100 (how many cal's I try to eat each day)

1300 (surplus cal's burned each day)

+ 300 (cal's I burn during daily exercise)

1600 (extra cal's each day burned)

x 7 (days in the week)

11200 (extra cals I burn each week)

/3500 (cal's in a lb)

giving me a grand total of 3.2 lbs per week lost.

So the bottom line is I know if I eat 1100 and burn at least 300 through exercise I should loose 3.2ish a week.

Because this is of course not an exact science it will not always happen but at least I have something to measure or shoot for.

However I haven't lost any weight for a week which could be because of that time of the month but I also only exercised once this week and ate alot of Halloween candy for the past couple of days.

Curse you chocolate!!

I Knew All My Exercise Over the Years Paid Off

2008-10-02T20:55:00.000-07:00

I went to the doctor for my one month follow up and they did a metabolic test to see how many calories I can eat to maintain my weight. The higher the # the more fit you are. Well I was a 2600!! and it only scores to 3000. So I have a higher metabolism then I thought. I need to just make sure I don't go over my calories for the day and by the end of the week I should continue to loose 3lbs a week. SWEET!! Also, when I'm able to exercise more my score will even be better. I love happy endings.

Why do they make you wear your shoes to be weighed in the doctors office? I wanted to tell them I was actually 2 lbs under that weight but I didn't. Oh well..

Oh I also learned today that while women are on their periods they burn an extra 300+ calories. Which is terrific if we could resist the chocolate.

Emotional Eating Lap Band Style

2008-09-30T11:27:00.001-07:00

I have had a horrible, let me repeat horrible two days. I have been an emotional wreck. Yesterday I thought my life couldn't get any more dire when the principal of my daughters school called to let me know she was in his office for the second time in a week. Needless to say I muscled through the day, went and talked to the teacher and on the way home a miracle happened. I decided to stop at the store for a few essentials and as many of you know there is an Arctic Circle next door to the grocery store out here. I decided I had to have a chocolate almond fudge shake to sooth my tattered nerves. I ordered a small intending on eating the whole thing when the miracle happened. I only ate 1/4 of it and decided it wasn't helping me feel better and I was full by that point anyway. Let me also say I have never been an emotional eater. For the past two days I had eaten hardly anything and that day I had only eaten a single slice of turkey by 4:30. When I get stressed I don't eat, but for what ever reason that day I saw my salvation in the bottom of a chocolate shake.

My point to this very long story is the nice thing about having a lap band is I now see that if I want a shake to feel better it won't help because I get full so fast. I have to face the emotion and let it out. Also, I have no guilt about mindlessly eating.

Today is a new day and I feel like my self again! Thank goodness for feeling full along with some clarity.

FYI today while I was at Costco I found salmon burgers which are 4 oz and taste great. I added 2 oz of avocado and have had a great filling lunch.

I Finally Have Energy Again...Kind Of

2008-09-27T10:00:00.000-07:00

I can really relate to the contestants of Survivor. I feel like I have been eating nothing and have had very little energy for the past month. Living on under a thousand calories and still running around after four kids has left me exhausted most days. Also, I have started to walk on my treadmill again at the beginning of last week. It feels so strange to get tired and sweaty when I'm only walking at 2.8 with no incline, when before my surgery I was running nonstop for 45 min. I had thought that I wanted to spend another 300 cal a day through exercise to keep up my weight loss, but sadly I feel much more tired by the end of the afternoon. I guess I need to find a happy medium between exercise which I enjoy and eating enough.

I have been trying to keep my calories around 1000 a day, but I think If I'm going to workout I need to keep them around 1200 or so. Then if I burn 300 I still have 900 for my body to use during the day. For some reason I though having this surgery and being able to more closely keep track of my portions would help, but I'm finding I'm obsessing about not eating more than 6 oz and making sure I get enough protein, and feeling like I'm eating too much.

By the way I'm not getting full anymore with 6 oz and I know I need to go in and have my band tightened but I'm worried about getting less to eat and feeling more tired.

Does anyone have any suggestions?

Oh lastly my large incision is still bleeding a little and just isnt fully healing. How long did it take some of you to heal after surgery? On Tuesday I will be out a month from my banding.

Hooray for eggs

2008-09-16T07:48:00.000-07:00

Well, it has been two weeks since my surgery and I'm feeling much better. I still can't stand up straight, and am still bleeding a little out of my largest incision, but other than that I feel great. Here is the funny think about stomach surgery, they tell you you won't have an appetite and that's so true. Its like being newly pregnant and the thought of food grosses you out. Although perhaps the reason I don't want to eat is up to this point I have only been able to eat Cream of Wheat, protein shakes, yogurt, and jello..Yummy. Now I can eat soft foods. What are those you may ask? I can have soft eggs or food that you can mush up to the consistency of baby food. So basically I have two more weeks of eating like I'm either 9 months old or 90 years old.

Also, can I say the only other bad thing about this surgery are the nightmares. I had a dream the other night that I went to eat at Quiznos with Chris and ordered a huge toasted sandwich. I started to eat normally and then realized I had that this surgery and started to throw up because I can't eat sandwiches right now. I think the chances of me forgetting I have had this surgery while I'm awake are slim but you never know, I do love a good turkey avocado and swiss sandwich.

Finally, I'm down almost ten lbs in two weeks, and 18 lbs since my half marathon. The funny thing that most people forget about loosing weight is the first 10-15 lbs are water so now I'm hopefully loosing fat not water. Although, because I haven't been able to eat I hope I'm not loosing to much muscle.

Where's my Ex-lax

2008-09-06T11:47:00.001-07:00

Now that all of you know what has happened can I say the first two days I thought I was going to die. Not from the pain of my incisions but the gas pain in my chest. When you have laparoscopic surgery they fill which ever cavity they are working on with air so they can see through the scopes. Yes smaller incisions from a laparoscopic surgery do heal much better but you think you are having a heart attack from the pressure in you chest.

I am happy to report that 5 days post op I have very little pain left in my chest and my incisions are tender but don't hurt. This is a good thing because I only have two pain pills left.

Here are a list of things you can do to ease the initial pain of the surgery

Take your lovely pain medication faithfully

Walk every time you fee you have the strength. Even if its only five feet and back again. The first day of my surgery I held my dads arm as I walked to my kitchen and back which is about 5 feet.

Drink warm, not hot tea

Use a heating pad on your chest as much as you can

Lastly but perhaps most importantly for me was getting a prescription for sleeping pills early. I didn't get mine for three days post op and by then I was so tired I couldn't talk on the phone without getting dizzy.

As for eating right now I'm eating what is called full liquids. I 1/4 c had yogurt and cottage cheese blended , then for lunch 1/2 c Cream of Wheat with milk for a snack I 'm going to have half a protein shake, then later the rest of the protein shake and to top off my culinary delights I'll have yogurt and cottage cheese again for dinner.

Lastly, on a very personal note if you do have abdominal surgery start taking a laxative before your surgery and keep taking it faithfully after because irregularity i.e constipation is something you don't want to deal with when you can 't walk or do many things for yourself. Plus, how embarrasing is it for you to ask your loved ones to go get you some from the store.

Why Do I Have a New Groove

2008-09-06T10:58:00.000-07:00

What is the easiest way to describe a new very personal blog?

I tried writing a joke, but I always ended up in a bar or before the pearly gates.

I then started a limerick, but you'd be surprised how hard it is to find a rhyme for plump.

So instead I'll just be blunt...(hey that kind of rhymes with plump)

On Sept 2nd I had a Realize Gastric band surgery. This is what my new stomach looks like this

I have been heavy my whole life and although I work out every day and eat right I have not been able to loose any weight for about a year. As most of you know I trained and walked/ran the Park City Marathon which was such a grand achievement, however it finally became very apparent to me that I couldn't be the true person I wanted to be being so heavy. After talking to Chris about this for years, and recently months we decided I would take the leap and have surgery to help me shed the weight forever.

I have wondered what all my friends would say. I know all of you would support me. I guess I just didn't want to be the person who gave up or copped out in anyones eye's, or my own for that matter.

I'm going to keep this blog going for as long as I can and hopefully it will be a cathartic tool for me and help someone else who is struggling with personal challenges.

Thanks again for your friendship and love while Chris has been gone. Finally, I'm giving an open invitation to anyone who wants to do the Park City and Provo half marathons next year with Chris and I, and next year I'm going to run the whole thing.