It's Groundhogs Day in April

After reading my last post I thought it must be Ground Hogs Day, minus the sexy Bill Murray. How many times have I started gotten distracted and then something started again. Well, today is my (or your) lucky day. It's the magical day one. So as someone(me) wise once said, "Start small today and tomorrow you'll have surpassed the impossible! Today speed walking a marathon seems impossible, but on Sept 18th after the Top of Utah Marathon the impossible will be a memory.

Choose what's impossible for you and tell yourself to do it.
Don't wait for someone or something to motivate you.
Don't wait for the perfect time.

Time isn't fair or perfect, its fleeting.

Lastly,

Invictus
Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the Pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds, and shall find, me unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll.
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.

William Ernest Henley

Here I Go Again

Ok, you've probably noticed I haven't posted anything since last Feb. My husband came home from a year long deployment and for some unknown reason I stopped working out and eating right. There is something to be said for having a spouse in another country to motivate you to look great when they come home. Sadly, Chris brings out the worst in me when it comes to eating. I never eat much when he isn't around, but late night movies and Pei Wei are a common occurrence when he is home. For those of you who haven't seen Chris he is 175lbs and can and does eat anything and everything. His goal weight is 180, which he has tried his best to reach since we got married. My goal has always been to weigh less than him. It wasn't easy when he weighed 130 on our wedding day and is still my goal even though he weighs 175.

Like everyone else in Jan I'm beginning again to loose that pesky, "baby weight" that has plagued me for the past 16 years. This time however I hope having running goals will give me something to look forward to and challenge me into being consistent. At least that is what I'm telling myself. Wish me luck. Also, for anyone who wants to join me I'm starting the couch to 5k program today and eventually by this time next year I hope to have at least one 5k, 10k, Half Marathon & two full Marathons completed. After all whats the point in making small goals ;)

Long Time No Post

I wonder if anyone is still following my blog because it has been two months since my last post. I'm finally 7 lbs away from being under 200 which is amazing, but my weight loss has been so slow I don't know if I can wait till this time next year to be at my goal weight. I'm frustrated because have also been working out a lot eating pretty well and only have three weeks till my husband comes home from his deployment. My goal was to weigh less than him when he came home, but since that isn't going to happen now I just want to be under 200. At this point I have to keep my nose to the grindstone and not fall back into unhealthy weigh loss traps. For example I have been kicking around the idea of going back on the pre-op liquid diet for the next three weeks. Why is it I can't be satisfied with my progress and be proud of where I am. The good news is I have never gained back any weight. I'm luckily a person who doesn't gain weight back, but I have a terrible time getting rid of it.

Because of my uncertainty I would like to know what you think.

1. Should I do the liquid diet for the next three weeks to make my goal of being under 200lbs?

2. Should I keep exercising and not weigh myself until after Chris comes home?

On a positive note I'm now running for 50 min at a time on the treadmill.

A Tricky Difference

Well, I have made an interesting discovery in the past few weeks. There is a difference between wanting to eat and being hungry. Yes I know all most of you are thinking, "duh," but I think I'm just beginning to really get it. For example last night I ate dinner then went down in my room to watch tv and it wasn't long before I thought to myself there were Christmas candies upstairs. So I grabbed a handful and ate them. As I was eating them I was uncomfortable even though they were small, I was so overly full. At that moment I thought I didn't really want those candies I just wanted to eat. Have you ever been really full but wanted to keep eating just to chew?

So there you go my amazing discovery. From now on I'm going to really think about when and why I'm eating. Oh and for those of you that have a band how have you gotten over the desire or drive to eat alot of food in one sitting and not just be satisfied with a small amount. It is such a strange feeling to think you want to finish something even though your full.

Depression and Eating

I have been in a major funk for the past two days and have not been eating like I should. Today I have had 3 oz of chicken and two small banana chocolate chip muffins. I also have no appetite. I don't like being depressed. That's the funny thing about Chris, when he is here I emotionally eat with him. For example, "Sure honey I'll have some of your fries." Or, "Chris will you go out and get us some fries"? When he's gone I don't eat at all. I need to go play racket ball so I can hit something.

That's it I just thought I would share.

Deployments Are Funny Things

I have been stuck at the same weight for almost a month since the 27th of Sept. I was doing everything to loose as much weight as I could before Chris came home for leave from Afghanistan. Nothing worked. Well, he has been here 6 days and I have lost 5 lbs! There is something to be said for feeling relaxed comfortable and in love. Chris takes care of me, he fills my emotional bucket and helps me feel like the most important person on earth. I'm so grateful for this time we have together and the extra weight loss is the cherry on the top.

You'll Love Spark People

I thought I'd share my favorite website. Its called Spark Prople and it is an all encompasing weightloss and lifestyle site. Now only do they really help you break down what your eating but they track your exercise and suggest nutrition plans and exercises. It's like havifn a free nutritionist and trainer at your finger tips. I'm a very very analitical personality..as some of you already know all to well. I really like seeing in black and while exactly where I am and the changes I need to make. Try is out I know you won't be disapointed. Just make sure you brouse around into all the areas to get the full picture.